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It’s the word your nerd says when he’s not listening, and it’s always the same.My word is “Cool,” and when you hear “Cool,” I’m not listening. Those first awkward five minutes when two people are forced to interact.The Next High As you discovered when you were the project, your nerd’s focus can be deliciously overwhelming, but it will stop.Once a nerd believe he fully knows how a system works, the challenge to understand ceases to exist, and he moves on in search of The Next High.In many jobs, it’s easy to discern when progress is being made: “Look, now we have a door.” But in nerds’ bit-based work, progress is measured mentally and invisibly in code, algorithms, efficiency, and small mental victories that don’t exist in a world of atoms.

Besides, it’s just as much a nerd’s job to figure you out, and maybe someone somewhere is writing an article about your particular quirks.

First, a majority of the folks on the planet either have no idea how a computer works or they look at it and think “it’s magic.” Nerds know how a computer works. When you ask a nerd, “When I click this, it takes awhile for the thing to show up. While the rest of the world sees magic, your nerd knows how the magic works, he knows the magic is a long series of ones and zeros moving across your screen with impressive speed, and he knows how to make those bits move faster.

The nerd has based his career, maybe his life, on the computer, and as we’ll see, this intimate relationship has altered his view of the world.

You need to appeal to his deep love of discovering new content and help him understand that there may be no greater content fire hose than waking up in a hotel overlooking the Grand Canal in Venice where you don’t speak a word of Italian. You might’ve noticed your nerd’s strange relation to food. There were charts tracking my workouts, there were graphs tracking my weight, and there was the exercise. Otherwise, it’s just another thought for the irrelevant bucket. If you’ve got a seriously shy nerd on your hands, try this: How many friends does he have in Facebook? He can do this because the interaction is via a system he understands — the computer. Just because he can’t look your best friend straight in the eye doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to know what makes her tick, but you need to be the social buffer — the translation layer.

Every single day for two years until the day I passed out in a Mc Donald’s post-workout after not eating for a day. You need to find one common thread of interest between your nerd and your friend, and then he’ll engage because he will have found relevance.

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