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Here are just 10 of the many contradictions of the INFJ man (although I do realise many of them are not gender specific)… We’re not materialistic, yet have a strong desire to surround ourselves with quality.

This isn’t to prove we have the best stuff or to show off, but rather that we find value in being surrounded by beauty…

the not wanting to socialise in noisy or busy environments (because I have trouble following conversations) but I always thought there must be something else…

the not fitting into the traditional male role – I’m teetotal, not into team sports or football, enjoy the home life, quiet, introverted (although I didn’t really know the full implications of that at the time) and reserved.

Many INFJ men have traits that are contrary to the male stereotype and as such many have learnt to hide those values under a bushel of shame (or mask), therefore being untrue to themselves.

This in turn leads to feeling trapped, disingenuous and often unhappy.

However our quiet, reserved and introverted nature means we rarely approach others, so in order to prompt others to make the first contact, we need to be noticed. We care about how we look, but we don’t like superficiality.

We can rarely do consistent or middle of the road for long periods.

However once they learn to embrace those traits (often later on in life) and ignore what society expects of them, they can often start to shine.

In my experience INFJ males can be an enigma of sorts, living a life of contradictions and in opposition to the traditional (perhaps stereotypical) roles that society bestows upon us.

This is another reason why you might see INFJs who are into health, fitness and fashion but also very philosophical and idealistic. We can come across as moody and cold, but are very sensitive, deep and emotional.

We are very much in our own heads and forever thinking and contemplating… As such we can be distracted from the outside world and the people in it.

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